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(no subject) [Sep. 3rd, 2009|03:08 am]
[Psyche | thoughtful]

Class started Monday. I had a lot of pent up anxiety about it and I think it broke me out (among other things). I knew my schedule was gonna be wack as hell, and the counselor lady holds me in high contempt so I put it off longer than I should have. As usual though, once I just bit the bullet and did it, it wasn't bad at all, and all the kinks are ironed out now so I feel pretty good and On Top Of Things despite being up at 3. Also counselor lady doesn't seem to hate me as much.

Any of you guys on tumblr? I'm having a ball posting and reposting things on mine (mostly ripped from fffound but hey, it's a process. I'll diversify.). My school-year's resolution is to find and post at least one piece of inspiration every day. I know everyone makes these once-a-day sort of plans and nobody ever, EVER can live up to them but considering I don't actually have to create content it will certainly be easier.
http://violentpinku.tumblr.com/


Lately I feel like a badass nappin zen bitch getting the hang of being a grown up person.

Any easy/inexpensive tasteful ways to camouflage those ugly but practical slat blinds that people have on sliding glass doors?
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(no subject) [Mar. 9th, 2009|01:18 pm]
So I've been getting my shit together at various levels over the last few months. It's like dieting, for me: sometimes I'm on top of shit and I feel good but once in awhile I relapse and want to sleep all day and don't do my homework. It's definitely in an upward direction overall, though. Rome wasn't built in a day, I suppose.

My weight, too, has been going down slowly but surely, so I feel good. The food I've been eating is diverse and yummy, so I feel like I've definitely found that happy medium where I can lose weight and not feel insane.

Saturday, Wes and I checked out the Watchmen gallery show at Meltdown. There weren't that many pieces, and some of them were downright amateurish (and not in an insider-outsider way, in a bad fanart way), but some of it was kinda neat. Then I saw the movie on Sunday. I dug it barring a few awkward dialogue choices. THE PERSON WHO IS YOUR FATHER IS COMEDIAN WHO IS YOUR FATHER WHO YOUR MOTHER HAD YOU WITH. IF WE HAD LOST VIETNAM WE'D HAVE BEEN CRAZY BUT WE DIDN'T CAUSE WE WON IT WHICH IS GOOD BECAUSE WE DID NOT LOSE AND GO CRAZY.

Some of my classes are pretty fun. For my studio class we're working on concepts for a summer gallery show called "Crazy 4 Cult," and I have some ideas for a Big Lebowski piece and a They Live piece. So, you guys: what are your favorite cult movies (there is a finite list but I'm sure some suggestions will coincide with it)? Which movies would you buy artwork from if you had the money?
A lot of celebs hit up this show and buy shit so it is AWESOME exposure. Kevin Smith is always there. Coincidentally, any Kevin Smith images completely sell out. hmmm....
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WHATUP WEERLD [Jan. 14th, 2009|09:03 pm]
[Psyche | content]

I started school again on Monday. I accidentally left my laptop at my boyfriend's house (he brought it to me today, duh) and it was pretty much the best thing that ever happened to me. I got so much done! After Christmas break where I basically holed myself up and played a lot of Fallout 3, I feel like a human being again. It's pretty insane how much time I spent online before. I'm definitely going to try to limit my computer usage this semester, and hopefully keep up the pace as far as getting shit done. I'm like ahead in the work I have to do for class, this is possibly the first time ever.

So, this means, if you need to contact me, texting is probably your best bet, after email, which I will definitely check regularly. Just an FYI, if you send an IM to "+7771234567" (phone number) it texts the person. My mom contacts me this way all the time, because when we are available to talk varies pretty wildly day-to-day.

Speaking of school, I'm pretty stoked about my classes. I'm going to have to put in a lot of hard work to catch up for the shit that went on last semester. My English class is called The Graphic Novel, and it looks like it will be really cool without being a throw away course (like my harry potter class was). I mean, I have a class where one of the required texts is Watchmen. And we're going to not only read it, but get all art school retard postmodern criticism on that shit. That's right Alan Moore, I don't give a shit what you meant.

I'm in another class where we are going to basically learn to peddle ourselves as gallery artists. Figure out contracts and put together a portfolio. I think it's a really great idea, but it's also really intimidating. I'm still new to doing art for myself and not assignments. What kind of work do I want to create? What do I want to say? How does "my" work look? I don't know. I'm supposed to sell who I am to these people, and I don't know who I am! It really hit home when we had to write a 5-year plan, and all of my plans fell within the next year, and the one after I graduate. What do you mean, I gotta grow up? Now??

Nonetheless, I am optimistic about this year in many ways. I feel good and ready for the day when I make myself breakfast. I hope I can keep it up.
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holidaze [Nov. 28th, 2008|05:05 pm]
[Psyche | wtf]
[Vibrations |Lykke Li - I'm Good, I'm Gone]

My family. Good god. If I hear about "natural selection" one more fucking time I'm going to start a gay riot.
At least I've moved from shaking in anger/frustration to cringing physically when certain people open their mouths. Thank you Saint Bloody Mary. I will never question my faith again.

Natural selection. hahaha.
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My most LiveJournal-esque post to date... [Nov. 11th, 2008|06:49 am]
[Psyche | crushed]

I was excited for this past weekend, as it was my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary dinner party. I looked forward to a fancy meal, good wine and a relaxing time, as well as commemorating such an outstandingly longstanding committed relationship.

It started out well enough, if a bit awkward, when I realized since I've moved out (about 2.5 years ago, yikes) how little I have in common with my extended family. Eventually dinner conversation turned to politics, and I kept my mouth shut until they started talking about Prop 8. It was the same old unthinking religious silliness (I have nothing against Christians or religious people of any sort, but willful ignorance is another beast) not to mention outright misconceptions (that bullshit about taking away churches' tax exemption, teaching kids to be gay in school (wtf at this, I didn't think people actually bought that one)).
I said my piece, and then the things that came out of my loved ones' mouths... I was physically shaking, and I could feel my heart in my chest. I don't know if it was anger, or disappointment, or what. The fact that people who subscribe to a religion of love and compassion truly possess so little of either for anyone but themselves... honestly, as soon as we got back to my parents' house, I went into my old bedroom and cried basically until I fell asleep. I know it's not constructive, but it's really causing me a lot of anguish. I really don't want to participate in any more family functions, now. Not because I think they will miss me and reconsider, or to be dramatic, but because this is honestly ruining my week and I don't want them to also ruin my Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks.
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i need pity to survive [Nov. 7th, 2008|02:58 am]
[Psyche | ugh]

I feel so CRAAAAAPPAAY ugh
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Generation don't-give-a-fuck: [Nov. 5th, 2008|01:26 am]
[Psyche | proud]

WE DID IT! We did something, you guys! Here's to many more!
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(no subject) [Oct. 31st, 2008|02:05 am]
[Psyche | bouncy]
[Vibrations |Again & Again - The Bird and The Bee]

My latest completed painting... )
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Welp, [Oct. 28th, 2008|02:36 am]
[Psyche | geeky]

Halloween party happened! It was really fun. Shing had my favorite costume of the night (she was a Keebler Elf, replete with fudge stripe cookies, my favorite!). I've always wanted to meet a real elf, not those fake-ass lord of the rings posers. I ended up wearing Wes's kigurumin pajamas of
the green ranger from Goranger
. I will maybe post a photo of myself if I track one down where I don't look like a monster.
It's pretty wild how closeby many of the people I've been meeting live. Hanging out must happen again soon! Especially once I'm caught up in school. Perhaps less hanging out until then.
I really want to quit my stupid job, because it's only one day a week (sunday) and it always seems to interrupt any sort of weekend plans I want to make. I end up making about $100 every paycheck though, which disappears really quickly, so I fear what would happen without it. And I guess with the economy it would be a stupid thing to quit my job because it's annoying!

I have sooo much laundry to sort, and it's funny because I just tend to wear the same twenty or so pieces that are sitting on top. I wonder if I should just clean sweep that shit and not even go through it before I give it to goodwill?
Also, how difficult is it to take in a pair of shorts? I bought some cheap pairs that I really like, but they are WAY too big on me. Which looks super silly. How much would it probably cost to have them altered? I feel like they are wasting away in my drawer unworn.

Anyway my eyes hurt so I am gonna pass out.
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Proposal for a nervous breakdown [Oct. 23rd, 2008|10:05 pm]
[Psyche | Jiminy Cricket!]

I've always had extreme difficulty getting motivated to do things I don't enjoy. Chalk this up to laziness or indifference. But lately, even things that I usually really enjoy have not been very fun.
I have been feeling varying degrees of jaded and apathetic about most subjects.
I think I fucked up my knee and foot, because they hurt when I run.
My scanner and printer stopped working.
Anyway, I'm behind in a few of my classes. I had some time today and somehow summoned up the energy to get my paper done for my history class. I'm really slow with writing these kinds of papers so I felt very proud at having completed it, and suddenly having it over with made me feel a little lighter, like I could probably catch up with all my schoolwork before this weekend! A great feeling!
I had a terrible premonition about losing it, due to the form that I filled out being housed in a browser window. Thinking something along the lines of "Man, this is a terrible form to have students write their papers in. What if something crashed? There's no way to save, it would just be gone--" but I had enthusiastically clicked print before the thought fully formed, and oh, did it crash. What the fuck. 6 hours of time I could have spent on anything else in the world. I guess it doesn't seem like a huge deal, but it was just the cherry on top for the greatest month ever.
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derrrrrfff [Oct. 21st, 2008|03:12 am]
[Vibrations |Sunday Morning - No Doubt]

So, Anime Con Carne was pretty righteous. It was more or less my first time hanging out with a bunch of OB-related people. I wasn't sure what to expect after seeing some crazy pictures from other get togethers, but it was genuinely fun and my face totally hurt from smiling so much at the end of the day. Everyone was seriously nice and really funny. I really hope I don't see any more candid photos of myself though cause god damn, those always turn out really awful, hahaha. I hope I don't really look like that all the time.
Greg, seriously, thanks for organizing something so fun and relaxing. Josh, thank you for being my chauffeur and grillin' up weiners for all the hungry boiz. I seriously want to find a Jodi Maroni's around here and get that sausage again!
You people who cosplayed had balls of fucking steel. We were just adjacent to a playground and kids have no qualms about gawking openly. Most of the parents didn't either! I was just waiting for that fanfiction pantomiming thing to get dirty and see the families disperse or get angry. Glad they didn't.

Also special thanks to Tim and Josh again, for pedaling me around in that fucking boat! That ruled. I just wish I had had a parasol and lemonade to sip on, too.
To everyone I got to finally meet or see again for the first time in awhile, thanks for being so inclusive and outgoing. To the people I missed, say hi at Dude Ranch Halloween!
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HAIRS CUT [Oct. 13th, 2008|11:58 am]
[Psyche | aggravated]

So, I was an idiot and totally abandoned the idea of the iconic Beckham/Rihanna haircut, thinking it was wayyy too popular right now. I've never been one to get "the hot cut." Even if it's way more flattering than what I have. I am an idiot, I know.
Anyway, this is the haircut I asked for... )
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(no subject) [Oct. 2nd, 2008|01:50 am]
[Psyche | listless]
[Vibrations |Santogold - Lights Out]

Feeling really bleh, lately. You know how usually when you're all busy and crap, you have that one thing that relaxes you and you get excited about getting to do it? Basically I've lost that second part. Things that used to get me stoked (even things as simple as buying new makeup, or working on a costume, or FOOD ;_;) aren't really doing it for me.
The only thing I really really want to do at the moment is paint from a model. Thankfully that's the class I have tomorrow, but nonetheless! The rest of the week I'm pretty listless. I am thinking part of it has to do with doing the same shit all the time and being cooped up in my apartment. I need to get out and socialize more, I think.

I've decided I definitely need a haircut. Something shorter than what I have now, and easy to style.
I like the idea of something uneven, choppy, shaggy etc. so it can grow out for a bit before I decide to chop it again. Should I cut bangs or continue growing them out?
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(no subject) [Sep. 18th, 2008|11:20 pm]
[Psyche | exhausted]

Take a picture of yourself right now.

Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.

Post that picture with NO editing. (Except maybe to get the image size down to something reasonable.)

Post these instructions with your picture.


Post-Knott's Berry Farm hookie greaseface crazyhairs.
I didn't even get that one hair out of my face! I'm so REAL! Real talk.

EDIT: Shortly after this picture was taken I got totally and completely ill and I think it is food poisoning or some other version of poisoning. Also the only really basic food I have in my fridge is sour cream and the thought of eating a spoon of that to get rid of the acidic feeling in my throat is really revolting. fuckkkkkkkkkk
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(no subject) [Sep. 5th, 2008|12:09 am]
[Psyche | accomplished]
[Vibrations |Coralie Clement - L'ombre Et La Lumiere]

So yeah, summer came and went. I had a great one, but it was over very quickly, on account of working all the time. That's all right, having a routine in general helped me create some good habits.

-I'm back in school now, starting my junior year of illustration. It's a lot more painting-centric this time around, which is fine by me! I'm also taking a critical thinking/logic course for math credit. This is also fine by me, although I am not so math impaired that it's actually any easier. It seems like I will have more time for personal art this semester, and also the freedom to paint personal things for assignments. I hope to sell a painting to a non-family member by the end of the year.

-Since early June I have lost 25 lbs., thanks in gigantic part to Wes. I not only look better, but I feel so so great, physically and mentally. I'm really proud of my results and it's driving me to keep with it. I almost have a normal level of self esteem!


I hope to meet my goal by my birthday (December.) Then I'm really going to focus in on putting on some more muscle mass.

-I have a bunch of stuff (clothes) I want to get rid of, so I will probably photograph that over the course of the month and put some of it up here.

-Is anybody reading this who can program html interested in some sort of "skill trade"? I really NEED to put together an easily updatable portfolio website. I am willing to pay, of course, but I'd be even happier to give you a physical painting or commission.

-I started an etsy account, and I'd really like to make some sort of little somethings to sell on there. I'm not super crafty though, so the time investment wouldn't be proportional to the return for sewing or making accessories/jewelry. I can paint like crazy though! Any suggestions for applications of this skill? I'd prefer not to do commissions, but have some sort of pre-done item that people will want to purchase.

Lastly, I really want to paint some portraits outside of the models the school makes available for us. If anyone local is interested in sitting for me (you would have to sit still for at least 4 hours-- with breaks of course!) let me know. I won't give you the painting, but I can definitely give you a scan of it and make you a meal for your time!
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(no subject) [Apr. 29th, 2008|12:15 am]
[Psyche | accomplished]
[Vibrations |Cut Copy - Hearts on Fire]


Home-made zaru soba and an ice-cold sapporo. Fuck yo heat, L.A.!
haha you can also see my sad busted-up macbook in the background.

A general update:
School has been fucking crazy, I've been so stressed out so consistently for so long I eventually grew pretty numb to it. This is bad! It makes me procrastinate. A lot. Thankfully, everything is pretty much 95% done now, it's just the last sprint and I'll be good. Despite a few shortcomings and bad days, I feel like I've done so much this semester, and really grown. My last day is the 5th. There will be a big dinner get together on the 6th, with a bunch of kids from my department, so if you're in the L.A. area and you wanna go, let me know and I'll give you the info!

This summer, I think I'll be working again at Doggie Styles. The pay is good for a retail job, the hours are really flexible, and because I left on such good terms, I don't need to interview! I was also thinking about asking the owner about selling some dog paintings on consignment and be available for commission. His wife has a painting up, and people always ask about it, but it's not for sale. I recently just started a semi-autobiographical painting of a pug dog, here's a suuuper duper rough (mostly figuring out the background right now), and it has been thoroughly enjoyable. I think I could crank out a few of these in a month with a good level of quality, probably less details in the environment and simpler colors, and it would be nice to make a little extra money to save for when I'm back in school and jobless. If you guys have any cool breed-specific painting concepts you'd be willing to share, send 'em my way!

Been reading comics, specifically Civil War. I want to get caught up to Secret Invasion, and then start reading Sinestro Corps. It seems really awesome! I really love comics, it feels weird that I've been reading manga for so long and yet ignored this genre completely. Other than Jojo and Gantz, I'm pretty dead on manga, anyway. I want to make a superhero costume now, but I'm having a very hard time figuring out a character that I could pull off. Instead, I'm thinking I might just pick from the characters that I like, resemblance be damned.

Despite being so burnt out at the moment, I am very looking forward to next semester. It really seems like the turning point as far as taking classes I'm obligated to, rather than ones catered to what I want to learn. The fact that I've only just started painting in the last year (and acrylics in the last few months!) seems ridiculous. I guess my design courses were constructive, and I really feel my editing and composition skills are so so so much stronger. It's ruined me, though, in a way. I can't look at a magazine or a billboard without cringing at terrible type or just ugly composition. I guess it's heartening, though. With all this bad design around, surely I'd be able to get work when I graduate, right?

Speaking of work, one of my priorities this summer is building a portfolio website. For you programmer-types or those who know about it, how much can I expect to pay someone to code a website of my design? I would handle all of the graphics and concepts, they would just have to build it. Are any of you available? I totally understand that this is work and I'm willing to pay you.
I think that's it.
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hahaha what [Nov. 30th, 2007|09:11 am]
[Psyche | calm]

Ok so it's time to register for classes but there are a bunch of holds on my account. Two are resolved by calling in and saying "what do you need" and the office lemmings sheepishly saying "oh nm we have it." WHAT
I can't pay online because they don't take visa (what) and I can't call the payment in (like I did last semester what.) I don't HAVE my mom's visa in my grubby little hands so I can't go to the office and pay it arghhhhhhh
This is some fuckin backwards ass shit. I can pay with DINER'S CLUB but not a visa. Yeah ok that makes a fuckload of sense.
I am still in a good mood though because I bought some cheese and french bread from Bristol Farms and I have almost eaten it all with some brie to spare for omelettes.
School is fucking ridiculous. In more ways than one. But at least I'm not having a quarter-life-crisis this time.
Time to PTFO.
Oh wait hey also, I turn 22 on Dec. 21 and I want to do something fun so if you have any ideas please share. So far my only idea is drinking 2 bottles of champagne on my own while watching Gone with the Wind and possibly the tv miniseries sequel (maybe make that 4 bottles? that is like a whole day)
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LiveJournal auto-post [Aug. 30th, 2007|10:57 am]
I love it when restaurants call meat products by their "living" titles: Pig, Cow, etc.. Makes me wanna eat it more.
Not a whole lot save drink and gamble, which was fine with me. The male stripper idea that my aunt was pushing kind of grossed me out. We didn't even see a show. I guess it's better than yelling at the neighbor's bird through the wall.
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(no subject) [Aug. 13th, 2007|10:58 pm]
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monkey magic [Aug. 1st, 2007|02:02 am]
[Psyche | awake]

Okay, so... Tokyo. My first trip outside of the U.S..
I know everyone SAYS "oh tell me all about the trip" and all that crap but who actually reads those really long triplogs? Let's be honest, you have probably already skimmed past this... that's ok though, I will still say a few words.
I have been asked about a million times, "So, how was it?" and I hesitate to answer because of what it entails. It was a lot of things. When I am feeling lazy I just say "It was awesome! durr!" But the long answer is, some stuff was awesome, some was not.
It was clean. People were polite but not genuine nor helpful. The food was tasty but it was tough to order some things. It was very compact and hard to find locations. Everyone smoked. Vending machines lay every 30 feet. The subway was easy to navigate and inexpensive. Manga and electronics were way cheap. Fashion and most everything else were pricey. Between 2-3 years of Japanese language classes collectively under our belts did us little good. My feet were jacked up something awful every night. The weather was horrid-- extremely hot and humid. 2nd day was a typhoon, 6th day was an earthquake and the next a nuclear leak. I was mostly ignored, but girls 15 and under made goo-goo eyes at Wes, and women over 25 looked at him like scum. People had some jacked up teeth. The otaku in Akiba make true otakubooty members look like regular dandies. Japanese girls under 30 wear far too much mascara.
If you'd like any elaboration, feel free to ask me in person or in a comment. I could ramble for a while.
Enough Tell, time for Show )
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